Career talk.

When i was 12, i told myself that i was going to become a doctor. First, because i was aiming for 5As in the UPSR. Second, because i know how highly do people look at the job and third, because i thought they were paying high amount of wage for the profession. That is yes, if you are working in the private sector.

When i was 15, i thought of making lawyer as my profession. At that time, i was a huge fan of crime and thriller genre kind of books. I would've spent hours per day just to finish at least 2 books during the weekend so that i didn't have to disturb my school time. I was confident about becoming a successful legal officer that i actually tried very hard to enhance my grammar. But then, my family was against the idea.

I thought of becoming an archeologist when i was 16. My mom was against the idea as well as she thought jungles would've been too dangerous for me since i'm a lady. I couldn't be firmed at that time so i went to see our school's counselling teacher. Then at the age of 17, i decided that i should be aiming for medical studies back again. The cycle wasn't certain, though.

I had a huge setback before uni because my SPM result was not going to promise me medical studies. So i went to do my matriculation, still with a hope that i could be a doctor someday. That my results will get better, that maybe it's gonna be a huge turning point for me except that, it didn't.

By the age of 19, i was certain that i was not going to become a doctor. It was too high for me to reach. I went to seek my mom's friends' advice as well (She's a doctor by the way) and what she had said after that made me realized that not being a doctor, is definitely not the end of the world. So i started to look around, to find something that i really like. Was it english? Or mathematics? Or was it journalism?

I was still in confusion but i knew something, i loved both chemistry and biology. So i applied for biochemistry course at every single government universities in malaysia that is offering the course. But none of them lekat. What i got was instead, a chemistry course. In Sarawak.

Throughout my uni years, i had always had a doubt whether chemistry was really my thing or not. It started during my second semester and the feeling had never leave me up until i had finished my uni days. And that everyone, is how i know chemistry is definitely not my passion.

I started working in HR line back in January 2018, after 5 long months of working as a part-timer at MPH Mid Valley. To be honest, i love meeting people very much BUT the admin works that i need to do in the office is never ending. Be it consultant group or corporate structure. Both have their own pros and cons. I learnt reaaaalllyy lots of things but you have to bear in your mind. Working with people means you require a lot of energy entertaining them.

There are days, when they would be asking silly questions like gaji bila masuk when we had already explained during the contract signing day and it is even stated in their contract agreement. Some days, these people will be asking 'Nak tanya something boleh?' but never continued until we replied. Other days, they'd be mad at us when the one who they are supposed to be mad at is another person who is at a higher level. That, my friends, is what makan gaji life is.

These days when i sit back and look how far have i go, i could only take a deep breath and keep moving forward. There are days when i feel like leaving what i have right now and start looking for something new. But there's always things that were holding me back. Things like life commitment, leaves entitlement, of good bosses and co workers and etc.

You can't just be angry and straight away make a decision. You have to look back at things, take your time to appreciate and be grateful and start looking at things differently in order for you to be optimistic. Cause sometimes, you can only find things that you've been looking for when you slow down and look back at your steps.